Everything doesn’t happen for a reason.
Many things happen for a reason. You improve your reading ability by reading a lot. Your piano playing keeps getting better the more you practice. Your spaghetti tastes great because you’re using a great recipe passed down from your grandmother.
But what about when someone you love gets really sick? How about if someone you love dies young? Why does a family driving innocently down a two-lane road deserve to die in a head-on collision with a drunk driver? Is there a reason for that? Is there a reason we have to suffer everyday because a tragedy befell us? Why do we need pain and suffering? We find the reasons after so we can cope. The person who suffers a tragic loss is well-served if they can find a reason to help them cope. Hopefully many reasons. But I’m sure if you asked that same person if they would prefer to learn to appreciate life and be inspired to help others through tragedy, they’d rather be less appreciative and inspired. They’d rather not have suffered the tragedy.
Alas, that’s not how life works. Nobody escapes sadness and tragedy in their life. Finding reasons to learn and cope with tragedies and disappointments is a great life skill. We all benefit from the quest to learn from our experiences. Losses and setbacks are great teachers. Losing a tennis match or football game hurts. Any coach will tell you that more is learned from those experiences than from winning. Human nature. It’s the deep losses where my questioning lies. It reminds me of when someone is seriously injured or is killed doing “something they loved.” I admit that it is comforting to the living and uninjured. I assert the dead or injured person would prefer to keep doing what they loved and be healthy and still alive. However, I’ll still look for reasons that bad things happen because they always will. A great book on this topic is When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner.